academic angst...

Very a propos

So, in the last day or so, I've read at least three blogs which speak to the academic ennui that seems to be pandemic around this time of year. I'm not sure if this speaks to some unique variation on Seasonal Affective Disorder, or if the weight of all that's been done (and has yet to be done) by those in the research and paper-churning world gets to a proverbial critical mass.

As for me, I completely get it. 1/3 (or 1/4, depending on which end of the spectrum I choose as my guideline) into my thesis, I still find myself wondering what, exactly, it's about. For someone who usually writes their introductions first (and eagerly! Writing intros and conclusions has always been my favourite part of composition), it's disconcerting to realize that I cannot write my introductory chapter, as I'm still messing around with the middle bits. When people ask me what my thesis is about, I usually excerpt/condense my SSHRC proposal, although I'm not entirely sure that my thesis on the ethics of form in Holocaust narrative isn't also turning into some sort of postmodern contemplation on consumerism and memory. Or maybe those ideas are related. As I said, I'm not sure ;)

Other than that, things are going alright. Enjoying v much the course I'm auditing--great text list. It speaks well to the degree to which I enjoy a course if I've consented to do work I'm in no way required to do! (Co)writing a joint paper on teleology in Whedon's Buffy-verse is going to be quite fun...

So, what is the cure for the mid-winter academic doldrums? Best as I can tell, it's to put your head down, and charge through it. We're all in it for a reason. We sometimes just need a little reminding as to why that is. Me, I love it. I love the feeling that comes when you've hit on that perfect article/seminar/conference topic that speaks to everything you're interested in. I love sitting around with like-minded individuals who deconstruct everything, from tv to movies to songs to novels. I enjoy getting up to speak in front of groups, and, most of all, I love writing. I was never terribly creative, per se (see my Ode to Sidewalks, for case in point), but in essay writing, I seem to have found my niche.

Final diagnosis: Mid-season academic blues.
R(x): Slap on some mellow jazz, take two Guinness, and call me in the morning! ;)